For a while, to love was all we could do
We were young and we knew, and our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For a while we paid no mind to the past
We knew love would last
Every night somethin' right
Would invite us to begin the dance
Somethin' happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Somethin' happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had
And oh, after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around?
Oh, after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that's lost be found?
Lyrics from "After the Love Has Gone" by Earth Wind and Fire
Julie was devastated. She could neither eat nor sleep. For the past two weeks she sat, stared and wondered how things got to this point. That conversation was on constant replay in her mind. “I don’t know if I love you any more”… How could he? I’m the mother of his kids. What about them? What about us?
This scenario happens frequently and the pain from the fallout is quite telling on children and families in our community. Many couples get to this point in their marriage as a result of being busy with careers, kids, paying bills and running a home. “My wife and I are like roommates” is a frequent comment that I’ve heard. Many of these individuals are looking for answers to some of the following questions: “Can this work?” “Do we have to throw away what we have built over the years?”
There is no magic pill, wand or quick fix to a relationship where there has been an erosion of trust and a build up of distance. However, if there is a willingness on both sides to work on the relationship, great things are possible! This could be one of the best opportunities that you have to create a richer deeper, more fulfilling and lasting relationship.
“The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.”.
Ryan Holiday, The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Adversity to Advantage
If you find yourself in this situation or one similar and you would like to further explore counselling support, please contact me at Simply Serene Psychotherapy.